Lina - 7 Months

Lina has learnt how to crawl.

It’s kind of a frog-jump, commando-style type of crawl. She looks really funny, but at least she can move around now. She was getting pretty frustrated for weeks.

So since then she’s been crawling everywhere, she’s getting into all kinds of trouble! Sucking on the bricks of the fireplace. Munching on the leaves and grass on the doormat. Tugging on the roll of toilet paper. Pulling the tv wire out of the wall. Shuffling through the pile of newspapers on the floor. Sucking on the shoelaces of my sneakers. Gnawing on the legs of our dinner table.

She practically mops the floor with her drool and the front of her tshirt. I probably should stop her from getting too dirty, but she seems to be having so much fun.

Lina - 6 Months

Lina has two teeth!!

Now it hurts like hell when she chomps on my finger. AND when I feed her with a rubbery spoon she bites on it so hard that we’re constantly in a tug-o-war during meal times.

I was actually anticipating the whole “teething stage” to be quite awful. Chris' mother said that Chris was a wonderful baby until he started teething… and then it all went to hell until he was… 12!

But in the end, Lina had a few grumbly hours over two days, which magically disappeared after a tiny bit of Baby Panadol. Breast feeding is still fine, so I might keep it up for a few more months.

Lina - 5.5 Months

Lina Almost 5 Months

Lina is almost 5 months old! She feels like she’s been in our lives forever!

Sleeping
Ever since Lina had the flu, she hasn’t been sleeping through the night. There was this delicious few weeks where she slept 9 to 10 hours straight. We’d put her to bed at 9pm and she’d wake up at 6am the next morning! But those days are long gone. For some reason she’ll wake up at 3am, or 2am, sometimes 4am for a late-night feed. Then again at 6am or 7am. Ugh. I’m grumpy all morning. We’ve been experimenting with all kinds of things. Putting her to sleep earlier. Waking her up for a play and feed before we go to bed. Not letting her sleep too much during the day. Tiring her out with some serious playtime before she goes to bed. But nothing seems to work. We’re going to try “doing nothing” next.

Food
Stuff Lina Has Eaten:
(1) Breastmilk
(2) Rice Cereal - It’s like mushy milk. she loves it!
(3) Apple - she only tasted it once. Judging by the look on her face, you’d have thought I fed her lemons. she couldn’t keep it down, so I skipped it and moved onto the next food.
(4) Pumpkin - Lina hates pumpkin! It’s hard work getting it into her mouth when she’s grumpy. But she’ll eat it when she’s hungry. It’s very cute to watch. I should take some pics.
(5) Carrot - I think Lina's not sure about this one. Maybe because it’s orange like the pumpkin. But she’ll scoff it anyway.

Growth
I haven’t weighed her recently, but I judging from our last weighing appointment, she should be about 6.4kgs. Which is waaay too much for me to carry for long periods of time.
Her eyes have stopped changing color. It’s kinda settled down to a light grey-brown/green. She’s definitely chubbier all over. But not at michelin or sumo status yet. We think she might be teething too! Eeep!

Development
She can roll over from her back to her front!
She can roll over with a string of toys in one hand!
She giggles and laughs at my bed-sock puppet shows.
She always goes for the green toys.
She can burp all by herself now.
The word “bath” makes her all excited.

Mother’s Day

It took a while for it to sink in.

I flipped through glossy catalogs that filled my letter box. Candles, pajamas, bath robes, bath oils, bath bombs, picture frames, perfumes, nail polish, underwear, food processors, microwaves, irons, cake mixers. Mother’s Day presents. It begins today.

I’m on the receiving end of catalog Mother’s Day shit. My kitchen cupboards are going to be filled with electrical appliances that I only use once a year. My shelves are going to be cluttered with porcelain ornaments from Target. The new bear-patterned pajamas will hang between the floral-patterned pajamas and the striped-patterned pajamas.

Oh I’m being such a wuss. Truth is, I’m in denial. I’m still trying to discover what it means (to me) to be a mom.

I have a feeling that, over time, I will succumb to the soppiness of Mother’s Day.

I know that because when Lina comes home with her first painting of My Mom… someone will be turning into a puddle of goo.

The Rolling Milestone

Lina rolled over this morning!

I plonked hher on the floor on her back. She gurgled happily and waved her feet in the air. I walked away for a few seconds to grab my cup of strawberry lemonade.

I came back to find her turned over wiggling like a wet fish on her belly.

*I’m so excited*

Next will be the crawling, then walking and then I’ll need to make the house child proof.

At The Supermarket

Lina is 3.5 months and has developed a vice like hand grip. Put something in her hand and you’ll never get it back! Fingers. Hair. Clothes. Toys. Ear rings.

Today I was in the supermarket aisle looking for soy sauce. I was carrying Lina on my hip. When I tried to walk away, I realized that Lina was holding onto something - a little old lady!

All three of us stood there politely, waiting for Lina to let go of her finger. It was a rather awkward 4 minutes.

Lina - 8 weeks

Lina just discovered her fingers today.
Now when she’s hungry, she puts them in her mouth. All of them.
I’ve been unsuccessful in photographing her - I can’t seem to hold the camera still when I’m giggling with laughter!

Reflections on Death

It’s hard to think about death without thinking about life.

The sky seems bluer. Trees seem greener.
And the air seems fresher… somehow.
Maybe I’m just more aware that I’m alive today.

I take a moment to stand in my garden.
Trying to find a sense of stillness in my heart.

My plants seem to radiate a certain superiority about life.
“We do this life-death thing all the time” they seem to say.

I forget I’m part of a bigger world sometimes.

Tam Dinh

I got a phone call on Saturday morning. I was eating breakfast. A good friend of mine had passed away earlier that morning. He died in hospital from a heart condition. He was 21. He was with his family. It was sudden.

I was very upset.

Friend. Designer. Creative, good hearted, warm, funny person. Always told corny jokes. Always had a witty, snappy comeback. We shared a love of chinese food, designer geekness and daily messenger banter.

That night, I took a deep breath and clicked to his blog.
I procrastinated that moment all evening.

I had to look away for a few moments.
It was too….. something. Dunno. Too…. him?
Full of his daily thoughts, his humor, his pictures, his adventures with his friends, his cat and his geek toys.
I spent the next few hours taking snapshots of his site.
I was surprised at how much I cried.

Now, a few days later, I still feel numb.
My soul seems to lack feeling. Nothing, just heaviness.
A weight of sadness.
It doesn’t seem real.
I can’t believe he’s gone.
I miss him heaps.

A Teaspoon of Lurve

Mmmmm. I made Malaysian fish head curry for dinner.
I felt closer to becoming the Archetypal Asian Mother.

BUT I must admit, it didn’t have fish heads in it.
I would have been sleeping on the couch if it did.

It’s my only gripe about marrying a white man.

That I’d never be able to share my fish eye ball with the one I love. =(

Absolutely Tasteless

I feel awful! My flu has developed into a nasty head cold. I’m stuffed and clogged and snotty and grumpy and headachey — and bloody hell my taste buds don’t work!!!!

I feel like I’ve rubbed my tongue dry on cardboard. Or like I’m constantly sucking on an old sock. I kept adding salt to my dinner and sugar to my tea. I just can’t taste anything! It’s soooo weird.

I ate half a packet of Caramel Tim Tams, before I realized that I was wasting them. My brain wasn’t receiving any warning messages about sugar overloads. It was quite distressing.

However I did learn a few things about the texture of food. Take away the taste and most foods feel gross in your mouth.

Munched up vegetables just feel like rubbery little blocks. Meat is like spongey orange peel.
Rice is just bean bag filling. And holy moly, ice cream is just strange! Like a creamy, wall plaster but cold!

I think chocolate was the only nicest thing that felt good in my mouth. Hard and solid, then melty and smooth, creamy and velvety.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. Chris promised to make me chicken soup.

Vegetable Tempura

In my efforts to cook and eat healthier meals, I’ve been trying some yummy recipes with no meat - on the menu last night was vegetarian tempura.

I don’t often cook deep fried meals. Mainly because of the amount of oil it requires. My mother used to have this old oil pot dedicated to deep frying. She used it over and over again. It was encrusted with old batter and had unidentifiable floaty bits. It was so gross.

Anyway, I was to reluctant use a lot of oil — so they turned out a little weird. Tasty. But weird. Chris said they tasted like vegetable doughnuts. Oh well. Next time I shall use more oil.

Lina at 2 weeks!

Colours For Today

The budding blossoms of my lemon tree?

Or perhaps the autumn leaves scattered across my lawn?

Alas, never have I paid such close attention to

the poo that comes out of my baby’s bottom.

.

What’s in a Name?

Ok how weird is this.

I’m filling out the Birth Registration Form for Lina, and this is what it says:

Naming a child is a matter of choice. For your child’s surname you can use the mother’s surname, the father’s surname, a combination of the two or any other surname. You man not choose a name that is obscene, offensive, unreasonably long or contrary to public interest.

What kind of rule is THAT?

But perhaps the real question is, how come I haven’t heard of any strangely named people?

Stuff About Me

I love beautiful things. Art, photography, rocks, flowers, landscapes, pottery, jewelery, textures, colors, people.

I love reading. I think life is too short to read crap books, so I only read books that come highly recommended. I like reading from all genres. Trashy chick lit, hard-core sci-fi, fantasy, humor, thrillers, crime, classics. I have a soft spot for Asian literature.

I love cooking! And eating. I love entertaining and throwing parties too. I get such a buzz from experimenting with food and recipes. I prefer fresh, healthy, low-fat, low-sugar foods. But I can’t live without dim sum, pizza, hamburgers, chocolate and KFC.

I enjoy crafty designy things. Ceramics, paper crafts, painting, printing, illustrating, drawing.

I love hanging out with the kids. One of the hardest decisions my husband, Chris, and I made, was to choose for them to live with their mom. I can’t describe how amazing it is to watch these little people grow up before my eyes.

I really love the idea of natural living. Cooking with natural and organic products. Recycling. Composting. Supporting local businesses and produce. Buying products that are made to last. However, sometimes it just isn’t practical, so I swallow my guilt and happily live with the contradictions in my life that make me ME. (For example - Give up my car for a bike?!? Bwahaha. Yeah right.)

I’m a bit obsessed about shopping. Clothes, shoes, jewelery, underwear, anything girly.

I love going out. Sitting in cafes, dancing in clubs, talking in bars, dining out, house gatherings, parties, barbecues, weddings, picnics! I also love an occasional trip to watch movies, theatre, stand up comedy, concerts and live bands.

At the same time, I can’t think of anything more satisfying than sitting in front of TV, eating take-away, lights down low, in my pajamas and watching crap on TV. I’m a home girl at heart.

Basically, I strive to live a balanced life. Fun. Serious. Fast. Slow. Brainy. Bimbotic. Intense. Lazy. You get the drift.

More Stuff About Me

I was born in Vietnam on Jan. 18 1986. My family moved to California when I was 7, and we have lived here ever since.

I have 3 sisters: a twin. My oldest sister passed away at the age of 3. I also have one half-sister and brother.

I’m the eternal optimist. The peacemaker.

I’m a Catholic. I reckon that God is cool, loving, down-to-earth and has an awesome sense of humor. But his PR people need to lift their game.

I was in a special art program while attending high school.

I’ve worked in Irvine. It was great fun. But the crazy expat life wore me down, and I just wanted to come home to my mother’s cooking.

I like perving on guys. Being married, I feel somewhat excused for my shameful social behavior.

I loooove buying clothes, underwear and books.

Sleeplessness!

It’s finally caught up with me.
Lina was a bit grumpy last night, so from 2am to 7am I was feeding, playing, burping, pacing, bouncing, circling, cuddling, rocking, anything to try to put her to bed. She ended up sleeping on my chest for 30 minutes. She looked so cute and content. I managed to catch up on sleep from 8am to 12pm. I feel great now. But I’m all out of whack with the rest of the world.

Sleep at day, play at the night reminds me of college. It didn’t quite work out when I had day classes to attend though. I used to love the quiet existence at 4am. Street lights buzzing. No birds. No cars. No people. No colors. Just the moon crawling across a black sky full of stars. I used to love driving at night. Through the empty streets and past the ghostly shadows. I loved to drown myself in the silence - surrounded by my thoughts, dreams and fantasies.

But how things change. I think having a job quickly put things into perspective. Getting married, having a baby. Now I can’t imagine wasting away my days. There’s so much to do and see. So much to live for. So much to love.

The Chinese Confinement Tradition

I’ve decided to go through with Chinese “confinement”.

When a Chinese woman has given birth, she is expected to observe a month of confinement where : she has to stay at home, eat certain foods, stay warm, restrain from getting her hands wet, not wash her hair (I think they’re flexible on the hair washing these days), not carry anything heavy and loads of other stuff.

Suffice to say, my mother has been over every morning with chicken in brandy sauce, chicken with sesame and ginger, pig trotters in vinegar, boiled red dates, ginger this, ginger that.

I actually think this is a big step for me. It’s not like me to do something that sounds dodgy. And the whole idea of being cooped up in the house sounds very unhealthy. Physically and emotionally, in terms of getting my life back to normal, settling into a new routine and discovering a new life with the baby. But I want to do it.

long walks by the river with baby in the new pram. Joining new mother’s groups. Going to post-pregnancy aerobics classes. That’ll all have to wait.

I guess I have this strange desire to connect with the people in my asian community. They’ve all went through with it. They have no idea why. Or what it all means. It’s just a tradition. And I guess sometimes that’s a pretty good reason.

New Beginnings

I have been writing in an online journal since May 2004.

Over the years it has evolved with me as a person - from a young single high school graduate, charging through life with the relentless pursuit of EVERYTHING. To a married woman settling into a new life, home, career and business.

But things have changed. A few days ago, my first child was born.

And so a whole new online journal begins today.

Enjoy.